seeds of love

last post;

2009-01-21T15:40:00.001+08:00

I’ve been thinking about it for a really long time.

And the more I know, the more I wish I’ll be ignorant.

Life is that way, life stays that way, life meanders.

And as much I want to say I’ll stand up again,

As much as I want to do it,

strive for it,

maybe that’s what it’s

meant to be.

That’s how life is

meant to be.

Goodbye, hopinghopes,

perhaps it’s time I stop hoping,

and learn reality.

busy!

2009-01-19T22:31:00.001+08:00

Guess I can only use 3 words to summarize the coming days – busy, busy busy!

Nevertheless, I’m surrounded by busy people, so that kind of makes me feel much better :D No sarcasm intended (: Okay, jiayou!

Yay I love printing stuff! :D

-

2009-01-18T00:40:00.001+08:00

Hello reality.

Face me.

joy,

2009-01-16T15:38:00.001+08:00

What is happiness?

Different people’ll have different takes. To the poor, happiness may be the fulfillment of their basic needs. To children, happiness is attention. To mothers, happiness is watching their children grow and develop into the people of tomorrow.

There’s an underlying assumption in all of the cases, that happiness is related to fulfillment and satisfaction. Yet those aren’t accurate means of measure, for this all is subjective, is never ending.

And after all this, I finally learnt that happiness can only be described as a transient state of joy, of elation, of contentment. It’s a hormonal discharge that stimulate emotional changes within us; it’s something that we must will ourselves to feel.

Happiness is just that mechanical.

when i am dead

2009-01-15T23:40:00.001+08:00

When I am dead

When I am dead
Cry for me a little
Think of me sometimes
But not too much.
Think of me now and again
As I was in life
At some moments it's pleasant to recall
But not for long.
Leave me in peace
And I shall leave you in peace
And while you live
Let your thoughts be with the living.

Oh of course I’m far from dead.

footwork,

2009-01-15T21:12:00.001+08:00

A wrong step here, a wrong step there, just how many more wrong steps am I going to take? Be fair, I’m a human too.

And sometimes I can’t help but feel unfair.

Yet reality tells me that’s who I am. That’s what I must do.

I suppose all that only belongs to the past now.

=.=

2009-01-14T18:09:00.001+08:00

By some stroke of luck I met Steven and Zhenyi today on the bus, and Evan at the bus stop, and Tianhao yesterday, and Zicong from eons ago.

-.-

-

2009-01-12T23:03:00.001+08:00

Gengyu’s swimsuit has a big hole! :O

And someone should really change his accent. Omgoose 365 days with that accent can die –.- ‘cos not a single word can be understood! Sorry lah, our understanding capability is slow, but D:

Posts are getting shorter.

Maybe I’ll close down this place some time soon. One has to know when to let go, and hmm…

maybe after so many years, I’ll finally let go?

stagnating,

2009-01-11T00:00:00.001+08:00

Omgoose why am I so stagnant this year! I can’t be possibly stagnant to that kind of extent! Say no to stagnancy! Omgoose I must stop being stagnant!

Sometimes it’s good to be back in the past,

-

2009-01-09T23:14:00.001+08:00

It scares me, how easy it is to wreck a life.

振作！

-

2009-01-08T20:22:00.001+08:00

I've been looking at the mirror a lot nowadays.

And the more I see, the more I can't connect the two people together. They seem to be of different entities now. The more time passes, the more I seem to be losing the other person there. The more I ask myself what am I, what am I doing, why am I here, the more I seem to be unable to find the answers.

I'm afraid I won't be able to hold out, but I know I'll have to, and I'll drive myself there.

Just that when I reach out my hand, I grasp cold air and none else.

And nowadays, the reflection's getting blurry.

It was indirect, but direct enough. I caught it.

Would it be better if I leave?

Sec 1 Auditions today, all I can say is, one word - IMBA! Haha! And some are super cute, but selecting sports CCAs (hmm), but heh really wish they'll pick strings as first choice! :D

-

2009-01-07T22:44:00.001+08:00

You have to look with crystal eyes,
See beyond the lies of formation;
You'll never know until you try,
Before the truth of cremation

-

2009-01-07T00:09:00.001+08:00

And today I finally learnt, that I'll have to suffer alone.

SLAP SLAP no more purposeless days! It's time to be a Sec 4, wake up lah! You're so irritating can! What's this!

I'm not a lady ): Walk straight walk tall speak with style and grace and confidence balance book on head neat hair clean face hygiene routine no slacking proper seating proper standing proper squatting proper wearing of clothes proper handwriting proper attitude in everything!

Gone again,

really random!

2009-01-05T20:52:00.001+08:00

I don't know why I'm posting here but I'm really looking forward to tomorrow :biggrin: HAHA!

And why? I'm in high anticipation to print a thick stack of french notes :D HAHAHA

And this is random too! Please go collect your science notes from photocopying lady! :D

watch

2009-01-03T20:55:00.001+08:00

I'm gonna go through a revolution ! And try and learn to be slightly more lady-like ! Just watch me (: So no more ugly words, no more running around hopping mad, no more inappropriate actions! You're welcome to tickle me if I do, well unless I give special permission for myself, that is.

And no more of that oogiewoogie behavior and gross speech.

Yes, I'm going to change. And I can do it because C-A-O-Y-U-N unscrambles to become Y-O-U-C-A-N :D This coming year, I won't let anything deter me or get me down. No more of that babyish crying (that I kept doing in Sec 1), I'll face all the music.

And do my best in all that I do (:

-

2009-01-02T18:52:00.001+08:00

School was relatively okay. I finally have my second row! (: After 1 whole year of waiting! Haha Jessica and I were like "stylo, stay low, and not make a sound!" when MChen was asking if anyone was uncomfortable with their seats. And the ass beside me is now an asst. monitress! And Gengyu gave me a turd from Taiwan. -suddenly recalls Kimberlyn's caifu!- And Jessica and I are no longer in the same french class! ): Though we're both still under Loic Robert.

And I don't know if it can really last the wait. Dao-ed Zicong on the bus today, but it was a mutual dao-ing of sorts. Sorry lah, I'm just that antisocial in real life when school starts. It all feels strange now, the separate entity thing and the cease of existence of the taboo word, but, oh well.

Yes, a leader is supposed to motivate her team. Come on, it's 2009, you can do it(: I'm looking at you, yes you.

Tag Replies!
rachael: Ah duh Prisca's cute, she has my genes! :O and I'm not emo lah, just uh, thinking about things(:
JIAQI!: Oh come on you know I'm more sane than that (: Trust me, Huilin influenced me to influence you! :D
YSABEL: HAHA yes! :D and hello! :D
elissa: Wah, such a hullabaloo caused over the gay-ing. People must be really interested in homosexual activity, oops.
enying: Er...okay. Whatever still.
lejing: HAHA see you on Tuesday! And you're still as mousey as ever! :D
shirlynn: Regina and I lit the candles ok! And I tell you it's simply a work of art that only geniuses can interpret :D
chunqi: Happy new year to you too! (:
hiutung: OMG I thought you shoved me on a shelf already huh! ): What's your new class now anyway? (:

day one of 2009!

2009-01-01T01:50:00.001+08:00

And I'm spending it online, not a very good start, but at least hey, I'll be organized in 2009, yeah? And I'm pushing my homework from 2008 to 2009 1st Jan, so that no matter what, I'll do my work first and without delay :D 'Cos I'll have the pressure to complete everything before 2nd Jan, Day 1 of School. :D

Anyway, I'm proud to announce the death of FBR! We shall stand in the mortuary now, from 12:12AM, 1 Jan 2009. Oops, I mean, FBR shall stand in the mortuary, I'm still alive and kicking(: Rejoice people! I shall classify this as one of the first good things that happened in 2009(: Prioritise work over play, this is a good start! :D And this change, this breakup, it'll do good to everyone. I'll still embrace the friendships (if there's any), and the affiliation perhaps super rarely (but it'll be one of the lower priorities), but for now, it's FBR goodbye.

2009! I aim to spend it without pigging, without narcissism, without vulgarities, without procrastination and complaints and self-pity.

2009, shall be the year where I learn about respect :D

2009, I CAN DO THIS! :D

goodbye 2008, hello 2009!

2008-12-31T11:41:00.001+08:00

Today's the last day of 2008, a relatively eye-opening year, exciting albeit horribly groggy and tiring. In short, it's a relative year I guess, where I learnt about responsibility and well, took on things I'd never imagine.

And tomorrow's a new day, a new year altogether.

Nevertheless, kudos to all the new friendships I forged this year(: Disappointed with my performance so far, and this I'm determined to change. I'm really grateful to the many people who've helped me thus far, without whom I'll cripple by the side and rot to a rottenweiler (oops).

Everyone's doing this and when in Rome, be a Roman and therefore, like any Singaporean, I shall be kiasu (: Being the loser that I am (for the very last time), I shall visit my blog archives HAHA!

1) Recap of 2008
- Sec 1 Orientation
- Being a treasurer O.O and class tee! (front fish only lah)
- SMP (nygh26!) with Mr. GoodGuy
- BSP (Tier 1) for the very first time o.o
- EPGY (can die lah D: )
- OBS (Watch 1!)
- YFC (NU-Hope!) with NUH :D (60h of street sales!)
- BSP Camp! :D (Pilipala!)
- New York Carnegie Hall
- Youth Day Funfair (which was uh..)
- Exco0809! (KSRJ!)
- Connect SG (which was so lame haha)
- Teachers' Day Celebs (slightly combined with RISE Exco)
- Fudan @ Shanghai! (C'mon lah level 6 and group 4 ftw)
- Many failed FBR meetings and meals (HAH)
- Combined Camp
- Sul Ponticello
- Violist outings! (ny/combined)
- NYSE BBQ cum chalet stayover! :D

2) Events in 2009!
- Sec 1 Orientation
- Graces!
- SYF 2009
- Open House!
- Elections for Exco0910
- DELF (hopefully!)
- O Levels Chinese/French
- F4.10 and class 401!
- Grad nite! (and asking people to do our grad mag HAHA)

3) Dedications
FBR
And now we're officially dying and going to be dead, but nevertheless, I'll miss the times we had, the quibbles, the not-so-happy-times and the quite-happy-times :D haha! Cold storage, Xmas meal, first few meetings where we went oh-mah-gawd-this-is-so-sian, etcetc! Perhaps I'll continue to be wrong, or perhaps I'll be right this time, but whatever, I just want to say thank you, and see you sul ponticello! (or in JC, if even possible) :D

Yingxiang
Thank you for always listening to (or reading) my rants! Haha though you hardly opened your heart to me before, and we've been gapping like crazy ever since _, but this friendship I'll cherish in my heart(: Really hope we'll go back the same track (: but even if we fail to, at least we've been there before, whether it's lala-ing to each other, drama-ing, badminton-ing, or collecting money for the needy heh! :D

Evelyn
Though you may be too dense to find out (as you always are), thank you for the comfort in 2006! Though many walls exist between us now to the extent of awkwardness, I'll still remember the care and concern you've given me before, and giving me still (: Thank you for teaching me how to care for others, how to contribute timelessly without complaint(: For that, I'll always respect you, my very special senior :D

Marissa
Thank you for all the wise words (and telling me off when I was in Sec 1)! :D I'm still being overly dependent, huh. Though we really hardly talk, but each time we do, I'll feel enlightened and the level of respect will hop hop hop up the stairs. I know I can never ever ever be like you no matter how I try, but whatever the case, you'll always be the super respected Pres, SL and senior :D

Violists
My Baobei-men, fellow ahma and ahpek! :D Haha! Thank you all for making me feel all young all over again, albeit super, duper old (how ironic) HAHA! but really, the bubbling exuberance and youth never fail to bring me back to my days in the 80s! We shall stay clean, pure and young :D Eh violists ftw ! :D We have more spiritual substance than any other section! :D

Exco
Thank you for constantly being there and never grudging in all the piles of work! We may have screwed up in many places, been a very fallible bunch, but no matter, let's jiayou harder in 2009 ok! :D I shall keep this short and sweet and, hello!

Melly
Thank you for listening to my rants(: Though we're like, always either talk about work or talk about crap, randomly hopping topics, and this may be very random and weird since we've gapped since our lower sec years (being 1-2-3), especially since we're a weird combination that stands almost on two extremes but no matter :D Haha okay this is weird but see you on Friday! :D

Lejing
Fellow Moqi and wax partner! HAHA yay we're still hugging! Eh I miss the days in Shanghai where we almost can't _ (oops), but whatever, let's continue hugging!

Linkai
Leader of NU-Hope and engaged fellow male guy! Haha sorry for pissing you on many accounts but thanks for being our group leader and going the extra miles to serve the group ! :D

4) Resolutions for tomorrow and the rest of 2009!
- Be more determined in everything that I do
- Be more organized, neat and resume a normal human's daily routine
- Stop overlooking and be more discerning
- Have more foresight
- Be a leader, not a position
- Be more resilient
- Earn the trust of ZH
- Be respectful and respected
- Improve my oral skills
- Improve my interpersonal relationship skills
- Be more caring and sensitive
- Be a better team member and friend
- Lose 2kg every term
- Be more physically-apt
- Be a responsible learner who follows schedules that I set for myself
- Plan schedules for everyday
- MSG of <1.01
- Gold with Honors for SYF
- Never act on haste
- Always be clear about my direction
- Learn from my past, not harp about it
- Be more accepting and objective
- Be more focused in everything that I do
- Stop being distracted by drama/TV/internet/games/MSN
- Improve all subjects, especially Chinese
- Be a more responsible violist

I'll add on to the list next year, but meanwhile I'll strive to achieve the above first(:

This shall be my final post of 2008 - the year of responsibility and hope.

wake me up,

2008-12-31T09:11:00.001+08:00

Slept from like 6pm to 9am with horrible hair and stink and whatever. So this is how it feels like to wake up from a deep slumber - you lose touch with everything around. Lost the feel of my daily routine and just felt everything slowly corroding. I enjoyed having a sense of self, yet now I feel like one of those faces that pass you by in a flash beyond the glass window of the MRT, identity-less.

My commonwealth essay is still like plain water. I still have not yet started writing my plot! And Chinese SIA is still in shambles. And logistics is non-existent.

And it feels as if _ is cutting me away, slowly but bit by bit.

I'm not looking forward to Loic Robert either. Hope we get DSoh instead of JLow D: Not looking forward to the rest at all ._.

bbq!

2008-12-30T16:12:00.001+08:00

It must be a logical fallacy that I may actually be a true blue human being with perhaps a pinch of feelings and fatigue. (Oh yes, I know it's kind of illogical).

BBQ...I can only say that I've mixed feelings for it. I know I'll miss Leona a lot though): One of my first stand partners in ME! Slept at nearly 4am for first night and 3am the second night (but woke at 5.30am), oh man. Thanks to who ah? HAHA! The 7 of us were gay-ing around. Okay lah, save for the sane people at the wings (Reg and Ziqing), but I swear it's Huilin's influence! :D

Visited Escape and played Viking thrice, WetnWild twice, Family Coaster, Daytona, Yakult Plane ride, Flipper, Haunted House, then met up with Reg and Shir for Arcade and fish and co!

Celebrating Kim's birthday (in advance) with Cowberlyn! C'mon lah our cow size pwns _ ok!

If you're wondering why there are so few pictures for BBQ, I shall reply you with
1) Low light condition
2) Who ask you go shy away! ):

fun feed!

2008-12-27T18:13:00.001+08:00

Dearest Community of Mothers,

Was poring through the baby photos of my dearest little exbaby when I came upon this, and thought it would be a great photo to display to the rest of the Community of Mothers:

Picture taken when she was 9, that little thumb-sucker girl has now grown into a full-fledged swan.

Just look at her, oh that sweet smile in Swiss.

That's all for today. My little girl has learnt to use MSN. She's chatting with me now. Mother-daughter interaction, eh? Important for a child's healthy growth and development. Alrighty, happy oogling-boogling with your kids! (Give them a good night kiss, won't you! )

Love,
Mother #0206

A Geek's Confession

2008-12-26T16:09:00.001+08:00

After what's been brewing about, I had a sudden flashing inspiration (: (wlau, why no inspiration for Commonwealth huh!)

A Geek's Confession

I adjusted my glasses,
and shifted my posé,
but they fell right off me,
when I saw her face,
on her display picture.

I thought I set the passwords right,
but she hacked in anyway.
Deleted my resources,
Fragmented my system,
she kissed a virus right onto my motherboard,
controlled me like a mouse,
her trojan horse threw me off guard,
and oh how I tried to resist,
but I hanged.

The next day, she threw my heart
into the recycling bin.
I don’t know what to do,
FAQ isn't helpful.

Thank god it's still on
warranty.

wicked wigs

2008-12-26T14:15:00.001+08:00

Nothing pisses me off more than a revolting haircut, and today I've reached that state of Nirvana that not even Mr Bean's icecream and Breadtalk's Lemon Cheese cake can salvage. (What puts me off even more is that someone still characterlessly nodded her hair and praised the wonderful aunty's chef-d'oeuvre). This absolutely fantastic haircut is simply a remarkable complement to my static and dry hair. I think my head now looks more realistic than the Bird Nest in Beijing. I won't be surprised if the mynahs decide to plant twigs on my head.

There's this dry mass of hair sticking up now, like little miniature scarecrows to scare away the worms and centipedes on my hair. It got so bad that I used the kitchen scissors (used to cut all imaginable forms and parts of chicken, fish, pork, etc) to chomp away one whole big bundle of hair (that sticks out and can't be tied), and now it's even worse, with the stench of stale fish.

And on the 28th, there shall be a new attraction to Escape Theme Park. I think I am capable of scaring away the plastic ghosts in haunted house. Oh wait! Who wants a free ride on my hair?

I think I need a wig.

merry christmas

2008-12-25T16:49:00.001+08:00

MERRY X'MAS TO ALL! [: And welcome back, Kimbobo! :D

[edit]
When will she understand? That all I ever need, is a little more love.

no inspiration

2008-12-24T19:33:00.001+08:00

Just suddenly felt no inspiration to post(: HAHA AND SOMEONE HAS BETTER APPRECIATE EVERYTHING WHEN SHE COMES BACK :D

Painter of the wind has ended just like that ): Oh man! What kind of ending is this lah! Don't even know if Yun Bok became a guy or a girl in the end, whether he/she ended up with the gisaeng or the teacher. Either way it's really illegitimate.

Current additions to new year's resolutions:
1) Maintain a neat and tidy profile
2) Never act on haste
3) Always be clear of direction
4) Play out my role

And I am very amused with certain winds going about here [: BYEBYE KDRAMA!

No, you don't fall, you raise.

yellow

2008-12-16T14:43:00.001+08:00

Feverish now. Came home from IH meeting in the morning. Not very productive, I'd say, but nonetheless. Sat on the top deck of 157, my usual seat, and listened to "Yellow" by Coldplay. I'm not a misser. I don't miss people. But images of FBR flashed across my mind.

Of course, I'll forget in due time. Empty and optimistic promises will just get transformed into lies later.

Sometimes I wish I won't have to think this way.

fbr @pizzahut!

2008-12-15T22:32:00.001+08:00

Throat just got corroded. Semi-puked from too much food D: In other words, I swallowed down my vomit after it's been repelled :D Xmas feast was too imba! 2 pizzas + strawberry jingle + soup + platter + mouse! Came back home to eat yoghurt + cookies. Omg can die D: I must officially stop this pigging behavior before school starts!

LOOK AT ALWYN READING LADY LALA A BEDTIME STORY!

Sul Ponticello

2008-12-15T00:53:00.001+08:00

Tonight ended it all, the culmination of 4 months worth of hard work. It all ended today, abrupt but nonetheless, an ending. Not a very good one, though. In the end, there wasn't any Durian or FBR photo, and _ got angry again, which I pretty much deserve, I guess.

Anyhow, as usual, screw-ups here and there in the concert. I'm glad, though, that everyone felt towards the concert (: It was really an interesting moment to see everyone practising in the dressing rooms. Kimberlyn took over most of the management today, just about reflects my incompetence. Ah.

Wasn't too nervous today, except that my fingers got tied up during Bach anddd the entire Section H was one big screw. Anyway, LALA, not bad eh! Didn't fake for solo! (: Don't know what the audience will say (the studio was too acoustically sound), but whatever, Viola 3 got improvement today! :D At least, this concert helped me to change my initial impressions of some ppl (: For example, the fatal mistake thinking that Lala is a stoner when he's actually a rocker. And realizing that Runxian actually has a voice(: And Steven speaks in Chinese and is a Taiwanese! :D Sad though, that I only got to know all this days before the concert, days before the end of FBR.

BUT WAIT, it's not the end yet (: We went for supper! Shirlynn, Alvin, Alwyn, Runxian, Steven, Tianhao, Lala and I @ KAP! Thank you Lala for waiting for us and treating us to apple pies! Heh! Steven treated the lot of us to Gelato and Florida's Naturals. Literally bought a tub of Magnolia's Dark Choc Gelato from Cold Storage and dug in with plastic spoons! :D (JOAN AND KIM, YOU GOOD, MISSED OUT HUH)!

Tomorrow shall be our Coda, after the double bar line. Who knows what'll happen after tomorrow? Recalling back the first day, when the room was filled with animosity and uncertainty, we didn't know what'll happen too. What if we didn't bond? What if our ensemble sees us in this shape? And back to today, we're wondering the same question again.

What's gonna happen after tomorrow? After the final double bar line, no repeats? Are there still gonna be mass convos? Will we still talk to each other? Will we forget all that we've learnt about each other? Will we still wave/acknowledge each other?

Reality tells me that FBR's gonna suffer a perdendosi, a decrescendo and cantando.

But I'll really like to believe; that with this team of great people, we'll end on cadenza.

城市百变

2008-12-14T00:54:00.001+08:00

生命的酸甜苦辣，我尝够了。

当然，会觉得痛。正常人，都会觉得痛。有时，想放声大哭一场，抛开一切理智，做出疯狂的事。但我们已经长大了，不可以再如以往那么奔放、逍遥。

Tomorrow ends it all. Goodbye, FBR. There's been enough hello-goodbyes to let me grow numb to all these transitions. Tomorrow ends it all, yet I don't even feel the slightest pinch. Perhaps, when all's over, I'll think about it, reminisce a lil, and then what? Reality sinks in, not that I'm not prepared for it, of course.

Am I too harsh about reality? I don't know. I only know, I'm prepared. Don't say I've no foresight on this.

violists @vivo! (11dec)

2008-12-13T12:59:00.001+08:00

Bleh, had to use the long photobucket way to upload these pictures! Anyway, violists outing was relatively successful(: Met the rest at Candy Empire in vivo after BEL meeting, got caught in action but ahem, heck (: Went to sky garden to trash about in the water until the rain caught up in us, so we switched locations and played cards, got bored, and watched a movie instead.

Amusingly, we watched "12.12.08 is the day the earth stood still" on 11.12.08 D: HAHA! And throughout the movie, Congning was clenching his fists below his chin like a little terrified boy. *GRINS*!

Anyway, dinner at Kopitiam! Our dearest SLs managed to please the kids by eating oranges! Ahma Ahpek ah! TSK!

Anyway, had dinner last night with Steven, Runxian, Zheryin, Lala, Zhaohong and Shir! :D (PS Zhermin welcome to the club!) Ate pastamania's potato salad and icekachang! Sian-ed around quite alot D: The 3 Malaysians blabbered in Malay while Shirlynn and Lala were left being the only Singaporeans about, heh! Pzzt-pzzt-zap! :D

operation change

2008-12-13T01:51:00.001+08:00

The most unbelievable things can happen at the most unbelievable moments. And I am unbelievably screwed.

Face the music, man.

And moral of the day? Always depend on yourself, or walk the plank.

I'll disregard Hanabiratake-G. I'll ignore the heaps and piles of work blocking my way. I really wish for her acknowledgement, their acknowledgement, but I know I won't get it, unless I change.

Change, and control.

I used to think I may have the calibre, but now I'm not so sure.

Ah heck, calibre can always be developed.

Be brave, you can, take courage.

'tis a long, long journey

2008-12-08T21:06:00.001+08:00

And I don't know what lies ahead.

All I know, is to snap out of this lament.

Zipangu won't kill me. I will.

Negativity

2008-12-07T16:30:00.003+08:00

Somehow, I've lost the ability to balance out my life. I can't categorize memories of Shanghai, FBR, all these events piling up one by one. I can't seem to see where I'm heading, I can't figure out my sense of self, I've lost my direction.

I don't want wrap myself in lies. And I'm really sorry, for those who're waiting to see this. I'm not a natural, but I'll learn in the process. I'll learn, and I'll grow, I'll mature to see the days of fruition which hopefully, will be before the end of our term. Thank you all for the support (: It's really appreciated.

And in all the negativity, we'll find that single ray of hope. However slight, however dim.

'Cos FBR is one.

[/edit]
I used to think, I'll help others find their way.

Where's my way?

Tag Replies!
rachael: Haha thanks. No lah all these are within our ben3 fen4! Sorry if you're disappointed over any part of the camp! D:
cx: Yah right -.-
elissa: AHHA OF COURSE MAH! GOT ME INSIDE :D
yingxiang: Heh thanks for cleaning up the room with us! :D
Amanda: receives a hi from Cao Yun
shirlynn!: yo zai lib! <333 (one more heart eh!)
cat!: O.O HOW'S CHINA!
lejing: HAHA HUGGG! :D
gengyu: yes you lame shit :D

Camp tribute!

2008-12-06T14:32:00.001+08:00

Combined camp is over! Plopped dead on the bed immediately when I reached home, didn't even care to bathe or brush my teeth :D 11 comfy hours till 9am! Feels so surreal now that camp's over. It's a totally different feeling to come home from a camp that you've helped to organize. And somehow I don't want to get back to the mundane bits of life yet. Haha hope DURIAN will bond well together! :D Nv took a group photo together ): Ups and downs in camp (as always) but heck, after so many consecutive days of sleeping at 2-3am (even during the camp itself), I'm just gonna list down the 10 GOOD things that happened in camp!

1) NO RAIN<3 And we were freaking out over the rain the night before camp! D:
2) Logistically, the games succeeded (except for the inevitable switch of locations for HQ D: )
3) People blogged about camp! :D
4) We managed to complete the montage!
5) Best camp food ever <3
6) I learnt how to get to the salt center :D
7) I learnt how to shout D:
8) ROOM 4 IMBA FOR NIGHT PARTIES! (C'mon lah we know we rock k)
9) GROUP 8! <3
10) And most of all, FBR BOND! <333

After so many late nights of re-scheduling 7 schedules on 4 consecutive nights, after D1, D2, D3...all the way to draft 7 for proposals, after so many weeks/months of planning and meetings, coming together from mega stone to stone breaker, you know what? I think we mighty rock! Thank you FBR for the many wonderful transformations that you've done to me, such as learning the importance of interaction and bond, and developing respect for males.

C'mon lah, FBR FTW (:

FBR TRIBUTE!

2008-12-02T10:13:00.001+08:00

Had BBQ last night! Thanks Alvin for the food! :D HAHA! I tell you Violists are the best in cooking man, no doubts about it! HAHA unlike bassists! :D Anw, BBQ was made super lame by a couple of people, ahem! Jiaquan the cow who went "I feel bubbles in my stomach. I think I'm gonna fart" and Zicong with his gay laughter piercing through the silent melody of the night! Ultimate bomb! HAHA anyway, tribute to FBR!

From once upon a time, 4 frogs and 12 princesses, we broke through the red sea and built a bridge with cards. Thinking back about it, from a stony bunch we grew with the support of mass convos, outings and Viwawa, and look where we are now (: Late nights trudging through proposals, charging through all the problems such as the disallowance of waterbombs, change of schedules, amazing race preparations...haha we're cool (: I just hope we'll stay like this, strong and united, yeah? :D HOPE FOR THE BEST TOMORROW, AND THE DAY AFTER, AND THE DAY AFTER THE DAY AFTER! :D

2008-12-01T00:05:00.001+08:00

We'll fight against all the odds. We'll stay strong. We can do it, FBR (:

Now isn't the time for breaking down.

CLEANING UP ! :D

2008-11-28T20:37:00.001+08:00

Haha oh my! Stella, Joan, Yingxiang, Yingyee, Hilary and I stayed back after CCA today to clean up M4-04. Everyone's better appreciate our efforts man! We stacked up all the flight cases, packed as much as possible into M4-ST2, stacked up all the drama stuff and pushed everything aside plus swept up the entire floor and etc.! Now M4-04 looks super empty and clean! :D HAHA I shall expect at least a "WOW" on Wednesday! :D Look forward to camp!

FBR@HC

2008-11-28T00:26:00.001+08:00

Had FBR meeting today (: Couldn't use M4-04 so we went over to HC Orch room instead. Kimberlyn appeared at the door like a ghost lah! Resulted in mad screaming from Joan and Shirlynn. Of course, sensible me only screamed once (: How friendly (: Anyway! Lunched at Coronation today! Congning got totally disgusted by Tianhao's tearing of chicken and Shirlynn's dissection of burger. O_O Stupid Zhenyi you good! Ponned the meeting!

Practice for childhood was totally failure. We practically died every 10 bars. Played slap jack, slap king, chinese poker, bridge, daidee today and had lunch at Pizza Hut. Poor Zhihao had to submit to a mere platter due to some secret reasons. HAHA! Reached home at 9.30pm D: Okay time for CCA stuff! :D

See you in heaven;

2008-11-26T21:28:00.001+08:00

Was clearing out the bird nest in my electrical board. Removed all the screws and the board, only to reveal an accumulation of a year's hard work about to be wrecked by human hands. It was really an intricate and large nest, confined by the narrow space but well built nonetheless. Took 3 entire plastic bags to contain all the twigs and branches. 3 baby birds died in there, thanks to my dad who stuffed the only hole that connects the nest to the outside world.

I spent one entire year, or more, with these birds. I saw through two generations, heartwarming albeit smelly and dirty. I fed them pieces of bread and digestive biscuits, teased the adult birds as they flocked in pairs towards the trees and back with more twigs in their mouths. I woke up to their daily hunger chirps and mating cries, plus the rat-tat-tatting as the adult birds flew into the nests to feed their nestlings. Today ends it all.

It was the chirp, the high-pitched desperate chirps that first sounded the alarm. It decreased in intensity, and today, the cries died off. The hunger pangs killed them, they died in my house, rotted here. As my dad removed the twigs and branches, evidence of their presence, as well as the 3 corpses, my mind was in a blank, and now, it still is. It pains me to see how my entire family's jiggling over their removal since evidently, that means no more smelliness. I didn't see the corpses, but I feel the loss, a weird loss that I can't put into words, at least not now.

It's just too cruel.

I can only pray that they'll be happier in heaven.

Emotions

2008-11-24T21:45:00.001+08:00

So much happened today; truth to say, the moment he called us to talk, it was relatively -gulp- on my part, seeing that I am a script-person and all. I started stuttering, it was really horrible, but eventually things got emotionally overwhelming and yeah but I held back (: Kimbertoot cried in the end and Shirlynn held back. I'm not a person with words, frankly speaking, but after today, I really hope yeah, that all the negativity can stop. Maybe it's more objective to say that half the people will leave with "ah why did you delay our time!" while hopefully, a handful will be able to see things from a different and more positive light.

In any case, thank you Mr Sze. Thank you for your contributions to our CCA and thank you for sacrificing so much for us. We may not understand how to appreciate your efforts just yet, but we'll strive to gain your trust and affirm your faith in us. I really hope we can go back to that superglu ensemble we used to be, with that unyielding spirit. Perhaps it's immature to say all these, and that actions speak louder than words, but whatever, I believe we'll see the light (:

Hand in hand, we can achieve

BACK!

2008-11-21T23:44:00.001+08:00

I'm back in sunny Singapore! Stifling hot and, heaps of stuff to say but decided to keep at bay until I get the pictures tomorrow(: Anyway, more important stuff ahead - CCA! Someone please update me, anyone at all!

Whatever, the sun will always shine!

2008-11-14T17:06:00.003+08:00

I AM IN CHINA AGAIN! Koping internet from yuanyuh's room! SAP seminar tomorrow, die of embarrassment man! Sports meet was uhh...missed my class' relay but nvm, caught their opening ceremony on memory! :D And finally, finally, yuer, mengyi and a few (super few) other girls waved to us on fudan street, woots! Not bad! :D

Days have been pretty warm here. Illegally tore up all the bfast/lunch/dinner coupons to try out the various stalls along guoquan road etc. Yesterday's lian2 yi2 was not bad. Lost my cool over the lighting problem but damn, the flautist guy was damn cool! And I found a Josh-equivalent! (aka Jingjing's Autumn story guy). Break dancers were chao cool :D

OK BB

2008-11-12T10:05:00.002+08:00

I'm in Chinaaaa reading how Kimberlyn is dying from work. 17/44 are sick D: FLUBUG! Mel is sick. Shiya is sick. Yuhe is sick. SICKO! D: Amanda says hiiii! ;D Days of english lessons here is corroding my english but improving my chinese. Toilet visits are expensive. Toilets in the school are really cool with autoflush, yes you get it, autoflush. The toilet trenches are connected w/ the other cubicles down the row! You get to see what your cubicle neighbour has eaten! Isn't that so high-tech and cool (:

Uh-huh and some squat toilets have sensors that trigger the trapdoors to open to a hole where you input your waste. Some people are too urgent and input their waste on the trapdoors. Hence the waste will and shall remain there forever. (Like that solidified mound of brown stuff that can't be flushed down anymore)

Other than that, the temperature here has been freaking hot. So hot thatwe only need to wear 5 layers! :D (Sometimes 6). Amanda wants to go home. Hostel food is nice. Amanda feels stuffed here. TLE was lame, says Amanda. Jingjing likes to do zao3 cao1. Our buddies keep ps-ing us D: Hostel aunty is moody. Amanda says we're poor poor souls.

Sec 4 students in China are learning how to create blogs in IT lessons, and buy stuff online. Sec 3 student Melissa Chan is making investments on the net O.O Chinese boys are dao and weird. Contrary to popular belief, Chinese students are not much guai-er than us. Japanese and Korean females wear miniskirts in winter and thick coats in summer for their school uniform! Bali guy claimed that Bali is better.

We're really learning alot here. Amanda says bye.

Bye.

2008-11-03T09:48:00.002+08:00

HELLO KIM PLS READ THIS:

Email access is difficult in China ): (Hotmail can't load in their China compt labs D: ) May take longer to vet documents. Will try find net access with laptop somehow, if possible. Keep in contact by phone, thanks!

-CY

asdfadfsdf

2008-10-29T00:24:00.001+08:00

Meeting and KAP-ed! I officially declare that all fruits are sick in the mind (: Especially someone called banana (see, even the name is suggestive!)

JIAYOU!

((: Untitled

2008-10-27T22:15:00.001+08:00

Went out with Yingxiang today to pick saga seeds! Ah, the simple pleasures in life! We took the same train coincidentally to Harbourfront and walked to Mt Faber. Took loads of pictures (will upload later) and it was a real motivating journey, I guess (: Philosophically speaking it's reflective of the unexpected twists and turns of life, as we hiked up the spiral ascent in search of our destination, only to be brought back to our starting location, the tree that we have sought for so long. It was physically and mentally draining as we walked up and down and all around in search of the tree (only to find that the slope's no longer accessible), asking about 20 people in total, including a tour guide (: 皇天不负苦心人, kept ourselves motivated using the opti-mistic cheer! (YX must remember for life ok! HAHA)

Yep, so anyway we went all the way up, then came all the way back down again (: Used gloves and really became one body with nature somewhat as I immersed myself into the greens and dug for seeds. Yingxiang has good eyesight! xD We got ourselves dirty digging and flipping rocks and all, but oh who cares, right! Man used to wear those leaves anw! OH! And guess what? We spotted a black furry humongous caterpillar, two green spiky caterpillars and one chameleon! And of course, billions of ants with a few that managed to crawl into my gloves (:

Picked our fill and went vivo for lunch! Food junction and Haagen Dazs! (Okay, Belgium choc and choc'n'cookies are actually quite nice (: ) Decided to be shrewd and dined in Haagen without paying the dine-in price :D HAHA! OH! And we played with the mini fountain outside vivo! Managed to wash my legs and shoes there (: HAHA!

Went Jurong next (: The tree was quite ulu. Got relatively demoralized as seeds were really scarce but still managed to get about 30 from there (: We threw branches towards the saga seed pods attached on the trees to release like 3-4 seeds flying down (into the drain -.-) and got so desperate we even picked up seeds from the gross curry-fied drain (but at least the seeds are quality, not quantity!) It was gross, totally gross. One who thick settled layer of iridescent red oil in the drain. Being morally upright and considerate citizens of Singapore, we grossed ourselves out by using branches to renew the flow of the drain water by rolling out the rocks and big branches obstructing the flow (only for the curry to be obstructed again further downstream). Argh, why can't people be more environmentally friendly lah! Nevertheless, it was really enriching? (O.O) and fun! albeit gross (: Sense of moral achievement! XDD

Played with gachapon next. HAHA Yingxiang got cheated of her $1 (which I happily reclaimed from Cheers) :D Hahaha hope we can go again yep! OPTI-MISTIC, YEAH! XD Simple joys that are sadly, incomprehensible for most urban freaks of nowadays (: Really enjoyed today! No computer, no technology, just nature and us (:

((:

Interclass Bball!

2008-10-24T17:15:00.001+08:00

I KNOW WE ROCK :D HAHA! YAY! PLATE WON TWO GAMES FOR BBALL! Didn't get into semi-finals but oh who cares! At least we fought our guts out and showed who's boss eh! :D My first first FIRST accomplishment in sports! :D And I didn't even dribble! It was just a mad scrabble for the ball (: Did three cheers for 310 after, see we have sportsmanship! Okay whatever, in any case, 301 GOT TOP FOR BADMINTON CUP :D ALL THANKS TO JESSICA CHOO AND JIAYI OUR CHAMPIONS! :D Woots! Haha who says nerds can't be good in sports huh! Not that we are nerds, of course(:

Oh man, no Internet access in Fudan. How am I going to read proposals! D: Days ahead will be a mad rush to the finishing line. Hmm. JIAYOU EH!

Red light

2008-10-23T21:40:00.001+08:00

The world doesn't stop. It never does.

Even if you stop, the world keeps moving on, that's how life goes. Green light or red light, it's all a choice. Our attitude, behaviour, personality, character, who we want to be, and how we want to lead our lives. All is a choice that only we ourselves can manipulate.

I have low self-esteem, I admit.

或许，自己还不够成熟。来日方长，将来的路途会充满崎岖，希望自己有足够的勇气渡过一切难关。失败乃至成功之母，我不能继续走下这条歪路。振作！相信自己可以的！

And all's about to change.

Looking glass

2008-10-22T17:12:00.001+08:00

Tuesdays with Morrie really made me think. It's a beautiful movie, though we only got to watch the first half. Felt really disillusioned after the movie screening, some kind of surreal feeling of nirvana or something O.O

I realized, one can really learn a lot from kids. Innocent as they are, thoughtless and devoid of life experience, they are truly able to understand the wonders of life, the miracles and colours of mundane living. They're able to recognize the wonders in our world and appreciate the diversity of sights and sounds that never fail to please their curiosity. Strange, isn't it, that they are so much more appreciable and in a way, mature, than know-it-all adults.

How often have we taken these simple things for granted? All of us are thrown into this cloud of to-dos, with desires that never end. How often do we sit on the bus, and be amazed by all the images passing by? How often do we breathe, and fill our chambers with awe and appreciation for each and every breath?

Truth is, we hardly ever do anymore. As the petite malay girl smiled at me and chuckled at the trees passing by, pointing her stubby little fingers on the window, I couldn't help but think of all the pretty sights we've lost in our years of living. Rather, we spent the moments mourning, yearning for what we do not own, when we have all of nature's wonders beside us all along.

Byebye Mr Helmut ):

2008-10-21T01:24:00.001+08:00

Final meeting with Mr Helmut D: Ah he was a nice mentor! Gave him a card and cookies that we baked yesterday! :D Hope he enjoys them! Haha ate at Koufu with Dr Xu, then got treated by him to Trung something, some Vietnamese coffee shop in SP :D I'll miss nygh26 and him ! ))):

Scrabble

2008-10-19T14:24:00.001+08:00

Some people just don't know that before economy existed, everything was based on the foundation of love and trust. Trust and believe. Society and community, not some individualistic mad scrabble to the top.Even animals know it better.

I'm not some form of cheap chinese labour. Scorn me, look down on me, demoralize me and eye me with disgust all you like. I'm more than what you think I am. As long as I do my best, I know I'm on the right track. I'll rise up, and fight for what I want, fight for what we want.

After all, if I don't who will?

Okay whatever, baked with Yuhe and Linxi today! Our mentor better enjoy it tomorrow man! :D

APSOIW:LEKF !

2008-10-19T03:13:00.001+08:00

HELLO! IT'S 3:10AM AND I'M STILL AWAKE (: BRAINSTORMING FOR GAMES WITH SHIRLYNN (: NYEH NYEH. IT'S 5 HOURS 45 MINUTES TILL LINXI AND YUHE COME TO MY HOUSE TO BAKE ! HAHA WHICH GIVES ME AROUND 3 HOURS TO SLEEP! :D but who cares! It was a fruitful session! :D HAHA SO THERE (:

Yes and I believe we can do it! :D WE CAN DO THIS (: OKAY SHALL GO SLEEP NOW! :D BYE AT 3.13AM ! :D

A Man's Best Friend

2008-10-19T00:08:00.001+08:00

I don't understand the cruelty of man. In fact, I'm ashamed to even be part of this human race. Seriously, how can anyone be so cruel?

I'm not someone who cries, and yet today I literally felt heartbroken. The poor dog! Met him as I was going to West Mall. He was following some orange-shirt guy, whom I believe is his owner, so faithfully and loyally trying to match up with his cold and unfeeling footsteps. Not sure about his breed, but he looked like a Rottweiler alright, and a really handsome one at that, except, with a broken foot.

He limped all the way, across the hectic roads where he almost got hit by a car if not for a sudden jump, limped as fast as he could with his tongue out and tail wagging to follow the orange-shirt guy. It was heartrending to see him leaping up the stairs, and waiting patiently by his master as the guy paused to look at some Starhub deals. The guy never turned back, not once, totally engrossed in his own world and all. The dog obviously attracted much attention, and the guy just walked on, walked past the MRT barricades where the dog couldn't enter.

And the dog stayed. Stayed outside the MRT station, waited a while, got tired and settled down in a heap, waiting patiently. It was such a pitiful scene I tell you, that I even ran to NTUC to buy a small tin of Caesar dog beef and vegetables to feed the poor soul. And I felt damn useless because that was the only way I could help him. Left the opened tin there and ran off. He was apparently a tamed dog, didn't even felt intimidated by my presence as I left the tin there. My mom was staring so I couldn't stroke the poor thing. Argh. At least, it was gratifying to see him lapping up the tin so clean. Went to shop for a while but he just kept appearing in my mind, couldn't take the image longer and went to look at him again, and yeah, he was still waiting.

Dogs and humans, aren't we all lives? Aren't we all bodies with hearts and souls? Why must some people just go to such an extent? Went back to West Mall again before disappearing out to see him for a second time, and he was gone, thank God. I really wish some kind people have chosen to adopt him, and that he has gotten a new and better home. He's of a handsome breed, but more than anything, a loyal dog, one who was willing to walk the extra mile for his master, even if his master had chosen to dump him.

Thinking back, I wasn't a good master either. Chewy has been entrusted into the hands of a stranger, yeah it's due to certain...unforseen circumstances I guess, which is hardly an excuse. Choosing to buy a dog is a lifetime thing. It's like having a baby, you can't just throw the baby into another person's hands to adopt, it's altogether a different thing. Yet to some people, money is everything. To some people, throwing a dog into the hands of a well-off person after spending a year of the dog's childhood together, is a benevolent thing. To some people, love is equivalent to building a solid house about the recipient. To some people, humans are more than dogs. Humans are oh-so-great.

Humans? Great? I laugh.

I guess I can never make her understand. And even if I do, so what? It's impossible for her to keep him anymore. The best thing to do now is to give Chew a solid home, not a solid house. A solid home where he can truly feel home in. The best thing to do, is to give him away, to a loving and caring family. He's a darn good dog, a good friend. A baby at night, but a good friend, a best friend.

And I wish I can see him again, just for the last time.

Nobuta wo produce

2008-10-18T09:20:00.001+08:00

Ah, a sense of relief(: I bought the books for 60 bucks but nevertheless! :D Hope they bring me the enrichment I need(: MAXWELL! Watching nobuta wo produce now haha! Feel so sorry for the chio basketballer lah (even though I'm supposed to be feeling sorry for nobuko)! Gave her all to Shuji only to be marginalized like that ): Oh well! :( On to episode 8!

Termites!

2008-10-16T19:45:00.001+08:00

Dizzy and drained after a morning of termites, oh yes, termites, little itsy bitsy white ants that invaded my viola case and threatened the survival of my dearest counterpart. I must really thank Yingxiang for spending 30 minutes helping me combat those little irritating things that were crawling all over. We used a broom to sweep my viola case and apparently it didn't work, since the survivors just kept returning in bigger numbers -.- Yeah and after, I found out that they were actually having a tiny nest in my case, eating away at the wooden parts, gross gross gross D: ! Ahh.

Morning prac was totally umm ineffective, went for Mad Jack later(: And boy am I glad there aren't any cheesy bits for Kimberlyn to ruin our image :D HAHA. (Recalls batch lunch!) Ahem! (:

Oh, and I'm so going to buy a new case tomorrow(:

Yawn ): Slept at 2am to chiong work after a series of early nights.

Tired, really tired.

Doubts

2008-10-15T22:40:00.001+08:00

I've always thought I had the calibre, the tolerance, the ability to take in all, adopt a steady gait and walk through tough roads with pride. I thought I had the bearings.

Now I'm not so sure.

Post-EOYS

2008-10-15T12:44:00.001+08:00

Ah, while everyone's away for their post EOYs activities, I'm planting my butt on my comfy chair and rotting, rotting away ): Nevertheless, I'm glad that was over! Should've studied more instead of being so complacent, and now I shall laugh at my impending doom. CY that serves you just right. Shan't talk about it anymore, the rest of my time shall be dedicated towards CCA and CLSIA :D Ah Yingxiang, give me your list of dramas! :D

Longgg list of stuff to do! Let's see, I want to collect more seeds, mug viola, learn Korean, buy a new home for my tortoises and ooh, plenty of materialistic desires(: Nope, shan't list, it'll be a really boringggg list (:

Tag replies!
Evangeline: Haha okay, will link soon! :D Yes yes gathering! :D
Anonymous: Haha I think I know who you are (: Few people type capitalized sentences in tagboard (:
cx: AHEM oh please you ate some and you're still fine! :D
shirlynn!: Haha must remember the CD every passing moment of your life ok! Not forgetting Kimberlyn's lolly too! :D LAOPIG! (Omg the doodle of laopig on your notebook!)
jonathan: Oh yeah? OUR EXAMS ARE OVER TOO! :D HAHA!
iceheart: Okay! :D
leona: Lalala I'm going back to lab on Monday! :D
kimberlyn: Haha thanks(:
si min: Yeah...nvm, jiayou too! :D Let's do well for CLSIA in the meanwhile! (:
hiutung: Thanks! Haha lucky sec2s get one more day of holiday ah! D:
elissa: Thanks(: No more jiayou for you haha 'cos it's all OVER!
chunqi: Haha thanks!(:

I just want the sun to be up on my head
As the days pass by and the clouds have dissipated
All the troubles fleet like a troupe of dancing sheep
Sail home on the train of homeless thoughts
Like a bundle, a loveless blunder

Stereotypes

2008-10-10T17:30:00.001+08:00

Why am I breaking hiatus in the midst of my exams?! Some hormonal protein is screwed up in my system I dare say. I've comfortably lost 30 marks in physics due to under-studying and 20 marks in biology due to lack of smarts. Don't doubt my words, physics just reflected my stupefied dumb look in that mirror question and crashed me with that sports car question and oh, the agony. Biology...I suppose I hate koala bears and my liver is phobic to hydrogen peroxide, same with glucose oxidase. And I thought biology would be my forte ): Maybe I should be an entrepreneur and get awed by the crashing markets (:

Despite all the disappointments that EOYS is bringing, paradoxically I rather enjoy the peace, where your only task is to study and none else. Yeah, but there's still the tingling sensation to watch the pretty pictures brought about by radiowaves and food cooked by microwaves and whatnot. And I've slacked the day away, a waste of time and ): ah I managed to watch Yang Guo and some old chinese sitcom and bunch of Channel U advertisements for 30 minutes only to realize that it's really just advertisements.

I think I'm going to die for Chemistry and Math too ): Haven't started studying for either! And before you roll your eyes and starting hating me for this statement, I'm just like you. Just because by some luck or chance I managed to get top in level in Math in Secondary 1 doesn't spell a thing in Secondary 3 where my brain has deteriorated to the size of a walnut. Speaking of which, just because I am from China, does not mean that I am necessarily good in Chinese (and to pride some evidence, I got B3 for Chinese). Just because I'm in 301 does not mean that I am necessarily legendary in science and math (of course, there're quite a number of high scorers in my class). Just because I got some percentage of 72% in P4 and appeared freaking thin in P4 doesn't mean that I am not composed of fats and flabs. In fact, I'm full of it, care to share?

Of course, I'm a normal human with stereotypical behaviors and tendencies as well, but it just gets awfully stinging sometimes, with all those expectations piling on to you yet you're unable to meet them. It gets pleasing to the ear at first, to be reminded of your past successes, and then as reality crashes down a split second after you'll feel the weight of the seemingly weightless and insignificant passing remark made. It's no consolation, it's a dawning of reality that reminds you of how you've deteriorated and failed over the years, a jarring statement that you're unable to meet, unable to make the mark.

Ah, that done, I hope there's philosophy next year! :D We're finally catching up with the rest of the world (:

Happy Birthday! :D

2008-09-30T23:01:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MRS HO, SHIRLYNN TAN AND JOAN FUN! :D (BELATED) Have fun saving up $$ (J) and watching all your unglam photos! :D (S) Eventful lunch spent celebrating their birthdays! Got a slice of blueberry cheese cake from Mrs Ho (THANK YOU!) and cake from Shirlynn and Joan's! :D Huilin, Jiaqi and Kailin joined in the celebrations! Okay lah, not that much of a celebration and surprise but whatever, AGE WELL! :D

Thank you for the Children's Day presents! Mrs Seah gave us a piece of healthy fruit each; Miss van Dijk gave us high fibre jellies and Hiutung a kinder bueno! (Eh haha I think I'm older than you right! Theoretically I should give you a children's day present but thanks loads! :D)

The above was written in pencil and correction tape! :D Before I snap back into hiatus which sadly didn't even last very long so far, HAVE A HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY TO ALL AND ALL THE BEST FOR EOYS(:

I need hope, and I'll have it :D

Your Song

2008-09-30T00:55:00.001+08:00

I wind it, and unwind it. It's the same tune playing over and over again, with its speed slowing as it slowly loses its energy. Just like how you're leaving me, day by day, yeah? The haunting melody, it entranced me so.

I can't help but think

To the day you'll leave me

For eternity

Seeds of Hope

2008-09-28T22:00:00.001+08:00

Got intrigued by someone who attempted searching for "seeds of hope poem for volunteers" and somehow arrived at my blog. Hmm. Anyway, googled "seeds of hope" and reaped some pretty inspirational and uplifting results! Truly beautiful poems that build on the sentiments, food for the soul! Enjoy! (:

Plant Hope
From where we sow
Hope will grow
Into so much more
That only God will know
Where we plant hope’s seeds
We must pull the weeds
We must tend to their needs
Or surely they will die indeed
Hope can only grow
Where love has been sowed
To expect otherwise
Shouldn’t come to no surprise
When love with the best
It will stand tall among the rest
That’s the goal to settle for nothing less
Where hope grows
The soil has been kissed by
the God who lives on high
Who only knows
That when firmly planted in peace
Where weeds shall cease

To exist in the love tapped soil
Where love will not recoil
As it sprouts from the seeds of hope
Sheltering us from the storm as we cope
by Tambra Raye Hill Stevenson, M.S.
A Poem Dedicated To Abused Women Everywhere
When I thought I was alone,
you were there to hold my hand.
When my world was broken and fell apart,
you were there to help me stand.
When there was no one to tell my secrets to,
you were there to lend your ear.
When I thought I wasn't strong enough,
you were there to ease my fear.
When there was nowhere left for me to run,
your arms were open wide.
You gave me a place to call home,
when all I wanted to do was hide.
So many times you held my life,
in your heart so tenderly.
You taught me to spread my wings,
so I could finally learn to be free.
What words could I say to thank you,
for giving me the strength and courage to be me.
I guess I must now show others that I survived.
I looked inside my heart and found the key,
was always inside of me.
Shine Your Light
When your world is full of darkness,
and there is no sun in sight.
You must try to push the clouds away,
so you can shine your light.
When confusion fills you mind,
every day and every night.
You must find a way to break through it,
so you can shine your light.
When pain and sorrow are your only friends,
and you don`t have the will left to fight.
Be strong and know you will survive,
so you can shine your light.
Remember that your past doesn`t have to be your future,
you were meant to live an amazing life.
Hold your head up high, don`t be afriad.
It`s time for you to shine your light.
Guardian Angel
Guardian angel watch over me,
be with me when I'm alone.
Please take away my fears and worries,
please help me find my way home.
Guardian angel please comfort me,
be with me through the storm.
Please help me see the sunlight shine,
please keep me safe and warm.
Guardian angel show me the way,
please be the light when darkness falls.
Please help me hear your voice so clear,
be the one to catch me when I fall.
Guardian angel I know you're there,
I feel your presence all around.
And I want to thank you for showing me,
that although I was lost, now I'm found.
You Will Never Be Alone
You will never be alone,
for I am always here.
To comfort you and watch over you,
I will take away your fear.
You will never be alone,
I'll be standing by your side.
To pick you up when you fall down,
there is no need to run and hide.
You will never be alone,
I'll be the light you see when darkness falls.
I'll whisper so softly in your ear,
all you have to do is call.
You will never be alone,
I'll hold your hand against my heart.
We'll walk this road together,
no matter where it may end or start.
For I am your guardian angel,
sent from heaven above.
I'll protect you with my heart and soul,
and wrap you in my wings of love.
Believe
Believe in who you are,
believe that dreams come true.
Believe that all the strength you need,
lies deep inside of you.
Wish upon a falling star,
have faith in what you believe.
For even the impossible dream,
is one you will achieve.
Listen with your heart,
hear the song it sings.
Imagine all things are possible,
if you only just believe.

Up there

2008-09-27T00:20:00.002+08:00

How does it feel, I wonder, to be under the eyes and hopes of 13 billion people, to have your every single gesture being remarked upon and watched by your nature while you're up above? How does it feel, I wonder, to have a nation's hope and expectations pinned on your single voyage? How does it feel, I wonder, to have your name written in the book of history, be revelled for taking a small step but a step ahead, and live a life of glory?

13 billion citizens, 3 chosen Chinese and a country's honor, all within a single flight.

Then again, I dread the day that Man conquers the Moon. It'll be a milestone in human history alright, but it'll also mean the devastation of our luminous night Sun, the day our Moon truly gets eaten by the "dog".

An eternal eclipse.

Go on, Chug along

2008-09-26T17:53:00.001+08:00

Break hiatus again ! D: This is dedicated to Shirlynn! (:

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

I didn't cry over my grandfather, but I know how it feels. Nevertheless, HUGS! :D “Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” Cheer up alright! (:

Foundation

2008-09-21T01:00:00.001+08:00

I've decided to break hiatus for a short post.

I've learnt the expectations, I've gotten what I wanted, I've gotten the truth. Discernment's the word. I'll play the word.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Someday, somehow, I'll pursue my dream, and I gotta start now. How delusional, a figment of imagination that will never spark to life. Twirls and arabesques in my mind that will never pirouette out into reality.

Discipline, discipline, discipline. Let's start from the apple core called foundation.

Home

2008-09-14T16:28:00.001+08:00

Just felt like posting again before calling for hiatus for real this time, until 15th October 2008. Badminton-ed with Regina and Yingxiang today! Played for 1 hour only actually, then slacked about 6 hours in West Mall and playground and on the piano and on loads of food! :D The feeling of playing together, a duet with 3 people, on the piano was awesome. Ate home cooked food with them too and a weird feeling just developed, something which I haven't felt for a very long time. The feeling was...warm.

HIATUS.

The SMP Road

2008-09-13T19:13:00.001+08:00

Today marks the day of our SMP journey. Got a merit award for our hard work (more of Yuhe's, actually) and happily enough, our mentor Mr Harjono got the outstanding mentor award! And they flashed my survey comments :D He totally deserves it man! [: Really glad that Bailu's team managed to make it to keynote! And Anjana was seriously pro! I love her project (cancer<3)! And she resembles 99% of my ex-french-classmate. Hmm.

And before I forget, congratulations to all SMP teams who got distinction! Especially Deborah, Sharon, Katherine, Melissa, Shiya, Bailu's team, Chentian's team and Zhaohong's team!

Mr Harjono visited our poster! Chatted a really long time. Don't convert to banking and finance! Stay in Singapore Polytechnic D:

Now, before I continue, let me introduce a new science project that I started embarking on yesterday. The title is "The Relationship Between Perseverance and Food". The hypothesis of this project is that if you stand near the food for long enough with blinking puppy eyes, the authorities will succumb and offer you some food! The research methodology is simple. Deborah and I waited outside the door, making constant glances into the haven of food, and sure enough, TADA! A nice teacher offered us some food! As all gluttons do, we took the beehoon, kebab, American cheese cake and brownie, and mm it was simply delectable! Soon after, many other students came milling in, drawn in by the success of our project. When the plates were exhausted, styrofoam boxes were used, followed by paper plates and tissue. Nevertheless, the results showed that the hypothesis is true, and further research can be done by extending the experiment to other events, such as the coming YFC prize presentation[:

Snippets of our SMP journey!

I'll definitely miss the lab, the fridge, the fragrance of bacteria, our mentor and all the moments in SMP! Don't know if I'll participate in SMP again next year (really hope to!) but if I do, I promise myself I'll contribute much more this time.

Anyway, pictures from eons ago!

Made the above badge for free yesterday(: And yes, as I've mentioned, the project was started yesterday. How? I stood near the food (allocated only for guests who attended the art exhibition) with Deborah and got myself some chicken puff too! [: (Plus I wasn't even part of this art exihibition!) Two consecutive days of free food equals to a happy contented me! :D

And now it's time to get some hiatus!

Blood-Dub

2008-09-11T23:40:00.001+08:00

The blade, blatantly exposed
its shiny sheen, a double-edged
piece of sharp shard. It lies
benign, innocent of its sin,
lying above all else, it's dripping with
tears, mingled with viscous red
molecules, above all else,
above the empty cavity where
a heart used to beat.

And no, please don't let your minds go astray [:

The End of the World

2008-09-10T23:35:00.001+08:00

And when life ceases into a dream,
a thread-like film of illusions
When reality fades into a fantasy,
a dreamy cascade of imaginations
When the line between life and death
seems so vague, and the line between
reality and fantasy so gray
When you're drifting through the shafts of
light and darkness
You know you've reached

the end of the world;

Darkness is the absence of light
You, are the absence in me

Last Street Sales!

2008-09-08T19:21:00.001+08:00

Motivational food not bad today [: No reported cases so far! In any case, the chocolate and all melted into a mess by the end of the day so, oh well. About half the volunteers didn't come today, including exbaby! (Ahem!) Sales with Yingxiang in the morning was not as motivated as last week but heck! We received 4 $10 notes in total plus lots of notes! A very gratifying result (: In any case, she rocks in resilience lah! Wanted to slack =x but haha "must sell finish balloons first!" :D 敬业精神!

Had lunch in Plaza Sing! Got cheated of $5 with kakigori (strawberry sauce and milk). Played the mentos gachapon again and this time we got 8 mini mentos in total :D (we used a $2 note). Poor kids behind us got cheated by the stupid machine as they dropped only a $1 coin ;D

Returned to HQ while waiting for Evelyn's arrival. Stupid Linkai was playing with water balloons and uh one dropped into the pool somewhat, so Zhenwei had to sacrifice by going in (barefoot) to pick up the balloon (sorry!). The small little ball of water slowly got transformed into an airy water bomb under Chunqi's hands and uh, somehow the whole thing evolved into a water fight.

Haha and OH! I want to complain! Evelyn you look super hostile! D: "Hey, you wanna donate?" HAHA! and and "Want a balloon?" Hilarious! Dumped her with Regina when Regina finally arrived at 5.30pm (AHEM!) to guard the stall, just in time to watch the Istana parade! :D

Quite a number of people gathered outside the Istana to watch the parade but uh, for such a big event (supposedly), turn up rate's considered low I guess.

Anyway, the end of street sales today was sadly, a failure. Then again, we finally managed to do a relatively decent three cheers! :D Yeujia brought her guitar for nothing though, and uh yeah many things unfulfilled ): Nevertheless!

A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL VOLUNTEERS WHO'VE HELPED US THROUGHOUT THESE 5 SESSIONS OF STREET SALES :D And congrats to Chenxu, Chunqi, Zhenwei, Jonathan, Zhiming, Jiayuin and Yijung for long service award! It'll never have been possible without all of you [:

Did some thinking today, and I realized, I've been making a fool out of myself all this while. I've been talking, promising, scheduling, but never doing. Actions fossilize somehow, as the river of temptation bury my intentions. I'm going to start all over, start mechanical and physical, then drill it into the bones, I have to. I can't keep relying on others' goodwill, I need to do this for myself, find back that perfectionist streak, find back that responsibility and sensitivity, that adaptability and perceptivity.

Hanabiratake-G, I have to walk this alone now.

Tag replies!

rachael: O.O Your hair looks very weird now! D: But cuter, admittedly(: And what Hiutung has a what?
hiutung: Honey O.O
chunqi: Haha you mean SMP? Science Mentorship Programme, in other words, something which replaces all three SIAs in my school! :D
jessicachoo: Haha thanks! Chunen took off her spectacles in order to look chio-er ahem!
elissa: Haha lol thank you! O.O and please your doodles are nice :D
gengyu: Annyeong! :D
simin: Haha yep I baked them! Chocolate meringues! (:

Eggs!

2008-09-06T22:52:00.001+08:00

Family picture of the four of us drawn during class! Overdue long time ago but whatever, here it is! :D

Finally managed how to work out my printer :D Haha! BSP doodle from months ago! :D Super ugly but can't help it!

You can't have everything in life;

2008-09-06T00:23:00.001+08:00

Honestly speaking, I feel quite bad. All along, Yuhe's been bearing the brunt of the work and today, she bore the brunt of the interview as well. Nonetheless, I should've spoken about the formation of biofilms and serial dilution which I've mugged the night before for! D: In any case, congratulations to the two Nanyang groups for getting into the final round (VIP selection)! And congrats to Mel's group for clinching distinction too [: Haha, my contribution's only worth an epic fail, whereas Yuhe'll have to suffer for my irresponsibility): Sorry! ):

Our presentation dragged like 2.5 hours today, thanks to some F11 group (yes I'm flaming you directly) that took up nearly 1 hour with their super laptop! As a result, our session was dragged for super long and due to time constraints, we stood there for a brief moment of approximately 15 minutes. True, our project's probably not as interesting, but whatever, it's just so justified and fair.

Took several disgusting pictures of the scenery as we walked to Woodlands MRT. Took while walking, quality's so gross that it'll induce vomiting so I've deleted them away. Adjusting the contrast of the clouds, I felt a little shaken. If the contrast level's too high, you lose the clouds, yet you need it for the effect.

Similarly, to get a close-up macro shot, you'll have to discard away the clarity of the background.

It just so happens to illustrate that one can't get everything in life, it's all a matter of priority. and in the end, you'll just to make do and be content with what you've got.

Anyway, baking session took place from 2.30pm to 9.50pm today. They better appreciate it this time! And no I'm not "so darn free", I'm just not prioritising.

Shut

2008-09-04T15:49:00.001+08:00

I need to review my life again, seek a new direction and abide by the rules all the way. There's a limit to everything, and there's specifically, a limit for procrastination. I need to stop feeling sorry, I need to stop saying "I". Think team, think Maxwell, think iceberg, THINK STRAIGHT!

[edit]

Silence is not equivalent to consent. Silence is not equivalent to content. Silence is just an acceptance of reality, knowing that words will not make a difference anyway. Then again, it's complimentary that my facade's deceptive enough.

[edit]

I need to stop that immature self-pitying! D:

[/edit]

Tag replies!

hiuting: Haha sleep early when you've the chance to man! :D And thanks ! (:
rachael: Baby Rachael! Haha Sec 2 already still crying ah! :D
gengyu: Yes Gengyu. How funny (: I'm replying to a tag that I saw you tagging ! 안녕하세요!
jessicatan: Thank you for the brilliant sarcasm ^^ haha! (:
chunqi: Just like campfire night lah! :D For bonding(:
elissa: Haha never mind never mind! :D
kim: What did you see?? O.O -is confused!-

Wisdom Tooth

2008-09-03T23:53:00.001+08:00

My wisdom tooth loves to shake. It loves to do the jig and dance away from me, such that I become an insensitive, talkative, stupid _ who talks before thinking. My ego's growing like a balloon through the process of pumping (and boy is it going to burst someday). And my self discipline's like a blocked nose in which procrastination gets me from doing work! Everything piles and piles into chunks of thrombus! Hm, that reminds me of someone.

Goodness NO, I need to buck up! Shake that wisdom tooth back into place with cement and let go of the balloon! I need a good shaking up, I need to spin around the room and let out all that gross ego! I need heparin! Think iceberg! Think iceberg!

Gachapon!

2008-09-03T17:56:00.001+08:00

I'll translate today into a flop of initiative. Never mind, the next one shall be better! Anyway, gachapon! :D Ah Melly I miss that machine ! :D

Street Sales @ Dhoby Ghaut!

2008-08-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

Stupid sorethroat! All I ask is to get some kind of substantial illness within the previous month and not some pesky little sorethroat just weeks away from eoys! Whatever, street sales today with Yingxiang was shiok! :D I bet we're gonna win top can prize please (dances a complacent jig). Did super faithfully while competing with Yangxi, then slacked off at Plaza Singapura for lunch and went to Wesley Methodist Church in hope of getting some cute little kids from Sunday service (in vain) -.- There was a little boy though, who kept playing peek-a-boo with us and saying cutely that his grandpa doesn't allow him to buy balloons. Ahh so cute! :D

Did a super painful session back at the MRT station with a gross voice D: Sorry Yingxiang! Had to let you do it alone as I slacked off at the stone benches D: Couldn't take it in the end and went to Park Mall after getting about 30 more bucks :D Stupid Yingxiang actually bought strawberry milk from Han's (I LAUGH) when apple juice from some convenience store's much cheaper! :D :D :D

Anyway, Istana Park's a really nice place with a great shelter (: There were dancers performing free shows and beautiful scenery around (: Quite a refreshing change from weeks of choking nicotine and smoke, gross. Thank you Zhufeng and Hueyjie for coming and helping to get more volunteers! :D Really appreciate it! Haha! Three cheers damn failure this week D:

Looking forward to next week! With Yeujia's guitar and loads of -cough- awful singing to end off our project. We really need some bonding! (:

[/edit] Top tin can prize! :D $179.05 Say it man! We're pro :D

Teachers' Day Celebration 2

2008-08-30T00:24:00.001+08:00

Teachers' Day Celebration's finally, totally over! Anyway, school's celebration was quite cool. I've a conclusion that my class is very practical and pragmatic (: We've got spaghetti and fried rice, plus some other Chinese staple food. Mrs Seah, Mr Ng, Chenls, Ms van Dijk and Ms Chen came in to enjoy free food :D Didn't buy anything for them though! D: and some of them really deserved a gift of thanks, oops D: Jessica Gengyu and I had to chiong two cards (on foolscap -.- ) for Mrs Seah and Ms Chen in the end D:

Performances...hmm 101 was cute! Haha sec 1s! Chiawei Wenjia Michelle you guys did great down there! :D I mean, up there (: 202 was really sweet with their song and 408 was really spas (seniors!) with their "Chinese entertainment". Mr Chia did a super funny item: Nanyang's 12, in which the entire school population saw Mr Calvin Lee, the school's most stylish male teacher, sashay up to stage, perform a couple of "that's hot" poses and O.O ROFL with our dearest vp! Hilarious and great sport! The PSG were really creative too, making super cool dresses out of recycled materials! Elissa's mom was really cute too! (:

Haha anyway, had meeting with Mr Sze and RISE afterwards to give Mr Sze "his body". Meant to be a surprise treat, became quite the contrary later as Mr Sze footed the bill of $140.85 D: and managed to cheat all our feelings as we attempted to pass the money around under the table! Hope he enjoyed the puzzle and celebrations! (:

Returned to bv after that; everyone's still the same, except for Zhu. He suddenly became more mature, surprise surprise! Miss Tan's currently in her state of bliss as 'Mrs Lee' status and yeah, we didn't manage to do much, went to pig out at 7-11 and Koufu is all. Quite sad that I didn't manage to get any pictures at all D: Oh well, in any case,

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY! :D

Teachers' Day Celebration!

2008-08-28T23:26:00.001+08:00

Days of work finally over (: Slept at 2am and woke at 4am yesterday man! D: Haha mostly due to my own inefficiency but whatever, teachers' day celebration was a blast today (: Considering that it was NYSE's first time celebrating teachers' day for our dearest teachers :D although Mrs Ho wasn't there due to some issues that cropped up last minute ): Really wished she was there though to feel it all!

Thank you NYSE for being great today! For cheering and whoo-ing and making the last day of CCA for Term 3 a real blast (: On this note, thank you Mr Sze, Mrs Ho, Ms Janice and Mr Lee for all your contributions towards NYSE ! Without you, we would never have accomplished our various accolades and come together as an ensemble through the cities of Singapore and New York (: Really hope they've enjoyed today's celebrations! :D

In any case, not everything went according to plan. I gave up on the stupid popper that refused to pop -.- Or rather, the stupid popper gave up on me. And the stupid firelighter decided to show favouritism to Mr Sze as well. No wait, that was because someone switched off the fans! Had some cake smearing session after (reminds me of the joke on PAP smear) and it was really messy.

Oh well, looking forward to tomorrow's Part 2 celebrations! :D Pictures later, once I've koped them from Shirlynn (:

Jogging!

2008-08-25T19:44:00.001+08:00

Hmm, turnout for jogging was less than expected, but still, not bad for the first day (: Thanks to Ashley, Weiyu, Ziqing, Yingxiang and Stella for turning up and Michelle and Chiawei for getting lost D: My fault for being vague! Haha, in any case, it was fun dragging the juniors along (with Ashley's nose stuck in her book) :D (Tsk only Sec1s and Sec3s turned up!) And Stella just had to run about everywhere striking weird poses :D Haha juniors nowadays! (:

Thank you Gengyu! :D (from eons ago)

(From last Saturday. Xiangchuin you look sick :D )

Hope tomorrow will be better. I don't want to see you cry because ...I'll cry too.

CIP Night @ Orchard

2008-08-24T11:02:00.001+08:00

Last night's street sales was (sigh). Volunteers...the least so far (but not bad lah, for a single 3-hour session). Wristbands...sold around 1/3. It was a sad case of low morale vs bad weather vs lousy wristbands that only glow in pitch darkness. Another problem faced was the shortage of labels, which sadly made Simin stone around for quite some time D: Sorry! Nevertheless, thanks to all the volunteers who came! Some even had to fill up the tin cans with their own money, really sorry! D: Still, Jiayuin, Xiangchuin and Angie's sister were great sport :D Haha! Potential winners of the tin can prize!

Mentos is so far the best motivation :D Shall bring lollipops next week if I've the money! :D Balloons at Orchard again, gosh we need more ideas! Oh and super malu lah, I brought home someone else's homework -.-

Eh us, what's happening to our morale! Need to buck up buck up buck up! D:

On a side note, I need a major character revamp! I'm getting misunderstood and my sarcasm's offended people D: Oh no! PS: Unless my sarcasm's really super duper hurting, it's actually meant to be friendly so please don't take offence! So much for satire and humour.

In any case, running tomorrow morning at 7.30am, meet at basketball court! ;D No flabs! Get abs! No cabs! Run laps! Hope the turn out won't be too bad! :D

Tag replies!

you-know-who: Haha np! I'm always here, just so you know (:
rachael: Wah super supportive junior man! Haha only find out after two years ): You take care too! :D
hiutung: Haha yes yes will reply asap! I'm not sad lah! Oh man my blog's too easy to find!

Rising Above

2008-08-22T17:13:00.001+08:00

Personally, I don't really see the point of demeaning someone's self worth for one's own selfish enjoyment. Seriously, I find it a waste of time, thinking of ways to possibly crumble a person when you can actually spend it elsewhere to study and yeah. Does it make one feel better? I don't know. Sure, it's a great way to improve one's language capability, thinking of the phrases that will hurt most, phrases that will be funny and interesting and yet, sting the person as well, phrases that may act like puns; but honestly, that creativity is better spent elsewhere, say on the entrepreneurship field, where innovation plays a huge role.

Sorry for this sudden outburst, I just suddenly recalled my primary school days when we used to be so childish. Till today I still feel sorry for the one we've always picked on, the one who hasn't even done anything wrong to us. We called her names, really nasty names that made her cry. She was great, forgiving us despite whatever we did, yet deep inside she was tearing, and we didn't know. Or rather, we didn't even bother to find out.

Thinking back to those days always makes me question my conscience then. Was it because I didn't know then? Or was it because I too, suffered from a great lack of self esteem myself, and had to find avenues of release? One thing for sure is that, I've been really selfish, mean and childish. Immature. It's only after we've graduated that I realized where I've gone wrong, and despite trying to apologise countless of times, the damage is there, and it stays, a permanent wound on a stitched-up heart.

Then again, there are still those perverse minds who really enjoy bullying because...they've been psychologically wired so. If then, picking on one's fault and harping about it using various combinations of words is really just child's play. To truly hurt a person, I've learnt the smart way about it. You rise above, you display your benevolence and offer a helping hand to that person who's demeaned your self-worth; you strive and reach you goal, and you come back all glorious and shining; you rise above, you then offer him/her some kind words of advice, and help that person reach his/her goal; you rise above. It's not a physical attack, it's a cunning one, one that sneakily creeps up upon that person someday and bites into his/her conscience.

It's eternal, it's subtle, it's the smart way to hurt someone without ending up in Hell. Rather, you rise above, and as an angel you'll look down into the third realm and see the person who's attempted to destroy you, the person who's writhing in remorse and regret.

To all those who've suffered/are suffering from the name-calling and whatnot, just remember that there'll always be others around you who'll be there by your side, who'll take the time to see who you truly are, who'll accept you or try to accept you for what you are.

To all those who're suffering from the remorse and regret, there's still time and chance for redemption, for us to rise above.

I'm truly sorry, _.

Tongue-Tied

2008-08-20T23:51:00.001+08:00

Sports is mimic warfare. Sports is war minus the shooting. I'll really like to agree to that statement on some counts. Watched basketball today, was kinda disappointed by how people can resort to violent means to get what they want. It was still relatively unnerving to see humans indulge in so much competition, committing foul just to get that ball into the hoop albeit that being the objective of the game. Still, it's slightly reassuring that they shook hands in the end (: The Olympic spirit!

Feeling relatively tongue-tied now. I just thought over it, and got all lost about the topic. I feel like a piece of flabby meat that's tied between my dual nationality, the tension's driving me nuts. I tried once, to stop saying the Singapore pledge, and realized that I've already developed a habit of reciting it every morning, a daily ritual, ever since I've stepped into this country. No, I'm not saying that I hate Singapore or the like, I just feel nothing towards it, despite so many years of intimate physical contact with this country. Yet being Singaporean-ized in almost every aspect, I can't really say that I feel much towards China either. During the Olympics, I felt high when Singapore won Korea, I felt sad when Liuxiang left the stadium (and I slept when Singapore vs-ed China for table tennis ._.) And somehow I want Singapore to win Korea again in the individuals (mianhaeyo!). So far, Li Jiawei and Feng Tianwei haven't been too disappointing at that! :D

Sigh, what a boring paragraph D: Never thought I'll enjoy watching sports. I've always felt super irritated whenever Channel 5 screened soccer matches or the like when it's time for my dearest Saturday Stay Home Movie or Sunday Blockbuster D: How strange that I tune to the Olympics first instead of watching the local drama at 7pm. Oh dear, I must be becoming weird. Heureusement, I got pretty bored by Taekwondo (sorry to all Taekwondo fans!) 'cos I couldn't understand the sport at all.

In any case, here's some quotes for all (: and to you-know-who.

"I used to hurt so badly that I'd ask God why, what have I done to deserve any of this? I feel now He was preparing me for this, for the future. That's the way I see it." - Janet Jackson
"To Simon Cowell: You hurt me and I cried. But I want you to know I have forgiving you." - Mandisa
"Trying to grow up is hurting, you know. You make mistakes. You try to learn from them, and when you don't, it hurts even more." - Aretha Franklin
"Life is a gamble. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day. Same with fighters: some die, some get hurt, some go on. You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you." - Muhammad Ali
"It's better to be hurt by the truth than to gain satisfaction from the lies." - David Allan
"Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can and surely will at times fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or risking love, can be terrifying, too. I think we should follow a simple rule: if we can take the worst, take the risk. "- Joyce Brothers

Tag replies!

xiang: Haha kamsahamida! More like your thin frame will crumble lah! In any case, jiayou ok! :D
shirlynn!: Aiyoh you always claim your pics are unglam D: -Whistles and ignores shir- Anw yes! Let's stay strong together with avocado!
kim: Haha thanks! You too (:
elissa: Haha yeah the rain ._. thanks!(:
chunqi: The mention of him makes my blood boil D:
kailin: O.o omg! Jiayou to you too :D

Blood

2008-08-19T23:43:00.001+08:00

Blood coursing through my veins
A souless, lifelesss pulse
Of a cacophony of confused lub dub
and scalpel slicing through flesh

I feel like a zombie nowadays, watching life buzzing by and time whizzing by, all these moments without my participation. Seriously need to knock some sense into this brain and oh dear. There's french tomorrow, yet I've just spent my time travelling from bed to toilet and vice versa, how will I survive? (I can do this, I can do this, I can do this!)

I need to improve on so many counts. I need more discipline. I need more sensitivity. I need more character. I need to work harder at this role. I need to adapt faster. I need someone who'll understand. I need more time, much more time!

I need a miracle.

Street Sales @ Orchard

2008-08-19T00:06:00.001+08:00

Another day of street sales is over, rainy and bitter, yet sweet and sunny at the same time. Firstly, we've got super few volunteers for the first session, close to zilch D: As expected, few were walking along the streets of Orchard, and it being so early and all, I was frankly quite surprised when Chunnan and co presented a tincan with weight :D Later sales were slightly better, save for the fact that the second sales was quite ruined by weather and man -.-

It was a fine, beautiful morning when smart me noticed the gray tint in the clouds! Smart smart Yeujia then said, "Aiya still got at least 20 more minutes lah" when the wind started blowing the balloons everywhere, as if on cue, onto the roads, all over the pavements, literally everywhere. Hence we had to relocate our balloons and we chose the location behind Sweettalk (with some nice people and some not-so-nice-people who got so happy about our predicament and started snapping pictures everywhere -.-) Yeah, hence we threw all the balloons into the fenced patch of grass to prevent them from flying away, and started attaching them onto gross, dirty metal grilles. Poor volunteers stood in the rain and helped us do the dirty job of wearing ponchos onto balloons D: Poor, poor, balloons who had to withstand the rain. Many couldn't take the stress and popped popped popped! Around 20 of them (omg how are the balloons gna go through NS!) and it doesn't help that we've relocated once already in the morning when the Security Guard came complaining about how a few miserly balloons are endangering his job. Oh my I feel like doing one whole paragraph about him.

Okay, mister Security Guard is this "I am a very nice man actually" who keeps claiming that "When the management comes ah, I don't know lah it'll be your problem" and keeps bugging us that "the management is coming! He's coming!" So naturally I envisioned this Board of Directors who'll arrive in some Mercedes in smart white suits, chasing us off with their aura; or at least, some guy in decent clothes who'll come in a taxi. Yeah, hence we kept having to relocate, from the benches to Under the trees (where I attained enlightenment on how we've been cheated D: ), from Under the trees to metal grilles (due to rain)! Yeah and we got threatened at least 3 times at every location that "the management is coming!". Honestly, I would've felt sympathetic towards him, but after his persistent pestering, causing Linkai and I to run all the way from Paragon back to Far East because "the management is coming!", I had no more pity towards the poor, poor man.

I admit, we were wrong on our part. We didn't follow the protocol, didn't apply for the approval of using the location 3 working days before (ahem). I understood his desperation, his fear of losing his job and all, his rationale behind his consistent pursue, but honestly after so many relocations you'll rather stick to your own stand.

Here, I must express my sincere gratitude and apologies towards our volunteers for the poorly planned event D: Such that some had to help us relocate all the stuff, and some got totally drenched in the rain, and worst of all, most from the second session had sacrificed their bags and possibly, their homework, which got badly smudged (can expect loads of complaints after today D: ) Really really sorry! I know that saying "we did our best" would sound very cheapo, but if you happen to have googled Nu-Hope to search for other negative reviews and saw this, I'm really super sorry D: For the rain, the cold, the wet, the dirtiness, the wet bags, the possibly smudged homework D: In any case, thanks loads to Jiayuin and Yijung, and all the HCI volunteers who stayed with us throughout, and all the volunteers who came super early at 8am D:, and esp, all the volunteers who stayed despite the rain! :D

In any case, today was really demoralizing, save for the two cups of Ice Kachang from Sweettalk in which the shop person was too lazy and just mixed everything together -.- The product looks super different from the image pls! The image shows some different-coloured thing that really looks like icekachang, whereas the product's only some pink goo with 1% chewy icebits. The gigantic bar of toblerone, which was meant to be MOTIVATION, became a torture device, a threat ('cos it melted all over the trolley, the balloons, and yeah it suffered the impact of the falling leaves and all D:)

Went home with Jung, Yeujia and Jiayuin. And omg I witnessed the cutest love story ever (xD) in which Jiayuin got Yuanfeng to help her get a stranded lolly on some vacant MRT seat (XD) Haha hilarious man! I couldn't stop laughing at the embarrassment :D

Okay lah, what matters is that we learn from our mistakes, right? God won't help you, unless you help yourself; only the Strong shall conquer. Let's learn from today's failure and mistakes and do much better for the next time! :D I'll have faith in us (:

Street Sales Publicity!

2008-08-16T17:12:00.001+08:00

Please click above for more information! :D Do come and join us! (:

[/edit]

Je ne peux pas plus supprimer ; les émotions qui sont dans moi pour tous les semaines, les mois. J'espère, j'espérais, mais je ne sais pas si je espérai. Voudrais-je avoir la courage ? Oui, je suis solide ; je suis fatiguée, mais les larmes, je les réprime, vous ne les voyez pas, vous ne pouvez pas les voyer, vous ne vous intéressez pas de les voyer. Je veux...je veux crier, j'ai besoin d'aide, j'ai besoin du sens de sécurité.

J'espère qu'il fera beau.

S'il vous plaît ?

Founders' Day

2008-08-15T21:22:00.001+08:00

Singapore won its first Olympic medal since independence, and all over the nation people are hoo-hah-ing and celebrating with newsflashes across the TV screens. I'm rather disappointed, to speak the truth, that they've conveniently forgotten to make it a public holiday though D: (Moans along with the rest of my classmates)

Founder's day celebration was relatively disappointing. The Nanyang spirit was totally absent, the songs were sang half-heartedly, unlike the noisy and spirited cheers and songs last year. Perhaps we're really losing the feeling, yeah? Somehow I wasn't able to feel the connection, as alumni members spoke one after the other, as Chairlady and Principal spoke, as Dileen and Alicia spoke, somehow it just felt like a reel of events that's drifting in the air. Somehow the opening ceremony of the broadcasting studio didn't fill me with as much awe as it would've a year ago. Somehow I feel as if I'm getting really old and jaded, losing the enthusiasm I've once felt towards Nanyang just 365 days ago. Oh well, in any case, hope Teachers' Day celebration would be better (: Last day of CCA shall be a blast, I hope :D

As mascara trails down her porcelain face,
her rosy cheeks form a deep, dark abyss,
where hopes once lain, where wishes once chased,
banished into the hollows of her eyes

In case you don't know, I'm a human too.

Perforations

2008-08-11T20:08:00.002+08:00

Jaded as stone, memories etched with
needles that pierce, through your soul
and a window that's closed,
stitches on the perforated
heart

I wish I can do street sales all day long, or serve in a hospital all day long, be an exchange student and leave Singapore for a month. All this seem to be more meaningful than where I am now.

In any case, Kimberlyn took her first try at neoprints today! (Is very amazed) And I honestly feel that the National Library has overspent on security, such that it's neglected the need for more plugs! Yeah I was on the brink of doing the Z-thing and demanding to see her management as she made me take out my correction tape, stapler, notes, file, crayons, coloured pencils, glue, scissors, penknife...in the end, I brought in only some pencils and 4 pieces of pathetic A3 paper from my 2kg bag of art materials. How simply ~~delightful~~. Don't mind me, I'm getting old and cranky.

We made a sudden revelation today too, that the cafe and bakery at NL is actually Hanis, not Han's! HAHA okay anyway, pictures from yesterday! (:

Untitled

2008-08-11T00:28:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I get on the urge of bursting and simply be a girl, be weak.

No, I won't do that. There's still so many people, so many things depending on my strength of will, depending on me as a pillar of support. I can't fall. I won't fall.

I've gone through it for 4 years.

It'll just be the same old routine, without tears this time.

But I'll talk, if you'll listen

NU-Hope Street Sales

2008-08-10T20:38:00.001+08:00

Went from 6.30am till 6.00pm, super tired and beat! All in all, it was a very interesting session (: We gathered outside AMK station at around 6.30am to pump balloons with the help of Linkai and Yeujia's fathers :D (Spastic combination!) Pump pump pump all the way till seven plus when Chenxu arrived! There were only 6 people for first session, super pathetic but oh well! Imba him pumped balloons under hot sun consistently until 12pm (when he switched sides to help Prism-.-).

Couple of interesting people met during the first session. Firstly, the kind uncle who helped us voluntarily and was super nice :D Instead of sitting around, smoking and staring at us (which many people did), he came and helped us pump balloons, and thought up of ways for us to tie our balloons to keep them stable :D Haha his generosity attracted many nosey aunties, who decided to drop a few coins in for us after sitting around and chatting with him (woots!) First session people were the nicest lah :D With the cutest kids too! (:

Haha anyway, there was another kind facility manager (euphemism) who helped us a while after looking at us toil! Sorry for making the place dirty! OH! And there was a disabled man who requested for us to conduct the sales behind him as we would be blocking his sales. That'd take away our access from two major traffic lights luh, so we negotiated with him, gave him 5 balloons for free and bought tissue and rubber bands from him, plus a packet of free wheat crackers (altogether $5.50 from my pocket D: ).

Oh man this is turning into a boring post. Anyway, rain arrived in the second session when 2 more HC guys arrived to pump balloons (stayed till 6pm woots! Haha thanks loads! :D) It was super interesting looking at all the balloons fly away in bundles when the wind arrives. Oh, and I think Singapore has very smart aunties. Some aunty bought two balloons (without air) to wear over her bandaged finger to prevent water from getting in.

Haha after today I'm so gonna fall in love with little girls in pink little frocks! (No, not those in jeanskirts and miniskirts with lipstick and whatnot, gross!) They looked at our palace of balloons with pleading eyes and tugged at their mother's sleeves "Mama, -points to us- I want balloons". OH MAN damn cute D: Some parents were nice, and were just asdf -.- But anw, being so kind and nice I gave some kids free balloons to reward their cute smile (: And they rewarded me back with a cuter smile, a look of satisfaction, or indulgence in their new balloons :D

OH! And I have something to complain! Wth McDonalds, b.s.p., some funny random shop and even COLGATE want to compete with us by giving out free balloons! Colgate I'm so gonna boycott you and settle for Darlie. McDonalds I've never enjoyed your transfats anyway. Okay anyway, I feel like complaining about the smokers too ! I bet I'll get lung cancer today or a few years down all thanks to them lah! I feel sympathetic for the HC guys who had to sit there and whiff in all that gross air. I can alr feel the tar sticking onto my airsacs and nicotine blurring my senses (you want to die go die yourself can D: Smoke in the forest! See how disillusioned you've made all of us D: )

All in all, it was a really meaningful day :D Thanks to all our wonderful volunteers! Esp the imba Sec 1 group who kept coming back for more balloons :D And the imba HC group (who really can't sell balloons) for pumping the balloons whole day with such commitment. (No, that doesn't cancel out the fact that you suck in selling balloons! :D Switch on your testosterone charm man!) And all the wonderful and kind Singaporeans and people of other nationalities who helped make this day possible! :D

[/edit]

HCI guys can sell balloons O.O and sold balloons O.O (BUT WE STILL SOLD MORE THAN THEM (: ) Oestrogen pwns testosterone !

Tidbit of Advice to Self

2008-08-09T01:28:00.001+08:00

Sacrifices have to be made for the goodwill of all. This time, I'll perform the sacrifice of time. I've been too busy trying to push away the responsibility, yet the fault lies in mine as well, the fault of lack of initiative as a member of the group. I'll settle it this time and no,

I won't allow it to happen a second time.

Tasklist for Sunday's Procedure for self:

Pumping of balloons (Battery operated? Power supply?
Purchase of tincans and sticking of labels
Printing of balloon cards, cutting and pasting double sided tape
Preparation of briefing
Checking on the arrival of balloons with Jiayin
Bringing of pens for everyone
Inform of meeting time
Print more collectors' licenses
Remind to bring balloons, tin cans, cards, ballooncards, plastic bags, collectors' licenses, air pumps, wristbands, 5 envelopes, pens, list of volunteers, list of sign-in and sign-out
Get receipts from Jiayin and Linkai
Get instructions for counting of donations, breaking of cans, submission of donations

Hmm, heavy.

Connect Singapore

2008-08-08T18:18:00.001+08:00

Lost much of the drive to post. Connect Singapore was...let's just say that the idea was good. In any case, looking on the bright side of things, Germaine, Shihui, Amaris, Sharon, Eunice, Jessica, and a whole lot of other people were interviewed by the press today! And Gengyu and Jessica will be caught in the press pictures with President Nathan HAHA! Okay lah I thought his entrance would be much grander and all, so it stunned me a little when he arrived in person, not just the framed picture that you see hanging on almost every school's walls with his wife's portrait. Other than that, I guess I shouldn't comment too much (: But anyway, thanks to all the organizers for this event (:

A week has passed yet again, so much for all my empty promises of utilizing my time well. I feel as if I'm living in a trance; it's time to snap out of it D:

Hey NYSE, where are you? Someday we'll be hand in hand, an ensemble we stand.

Fish of Faith

2008-08-06T23:29:00.003+08:00

Slimey slippery scales, that of a
slithering snake, it slides beneath your grasp,
constantly escaping

Catch it with your net! Trap it,
seal it, encage it, and watch its gills
suffocate and its life
slipping away

Many a times I've tried to grab
onto its magnificent tail, follow its
smooth sailing trail. Instead,
a rocky, turbulent crash of waves
to swallow you whole as the fish
swims away, a dart of colours,
and off it disappears, away
into darkness, the neverending
abyss of the sea, my
fish of faith.

Quizzed!

2008-08-03T11:48:00.001+08:00

TAGGED BY: PRISCA HO
RULES AND REGULATIONS: BLOGGERS THAT HAVE BEEN TAGGED HAVE TO POST 10 RANDOM FACTS AND HABITS ABOUT THEMSELVES. AND AT THE END OF IT, BLOGGERS HAVE TO TAG 10 PEOPLE TO DO THIS QUIZ. ~~AND TELL THEM THAT THEY HAVE BEEN TAGGED~~
1) I love blood and gore. I hate mud and goth. Oh, and I'm terrified of blood and gore.
2) I have 5 underlying layers of cellulite D:
3) I bake delicious cookies when I'm lucky :D
4) I've used too many I's D:
5) Grey's Anatomy is nice(: Shepherd's nice. MOO'S NICE(:
6) Prisca is my exbaby ): MOO(:
7) Regina's my exgay ): MOO(:
8) I want John C Maxwell's books D:
9) I'm getting restless. I live on the ninth floor.
10) I TAG: The first 10 people who see this (:

A Break of Facade

2008-08-02T18:14:00.001+08:00

A weed in a sea of blooms
Who said life's a bed of roses?
Face up to your oppressors,
and tell them who you are.
This is not lyrical, neither has it
rhythm; it's a plea, an illegitimate cry
from the shadow against the dark
Incoherent struggle.

I'll never tell you how I feel. I'll wait for the day you attempt to peel off my layers. I'll wait years, years for your awakening, for you to see the person you've produced. I'll be hard-core, until that day arrives.

In a Prism: NYCD Concert

2008-08-02T12:47:00.001+08:00

It was grand and fullhouse, spectacular by the variety of genres presented while capping within "Chinese dance" and not losing that "Chinese" feel. Sitting from Circle 3 didn't provide a very good view of the dancers but sitting there, you can still see the many months of hard work put in, glinting off all that sweat and glitter. My favourite performance was "Winter is Here", a really romantic, melancholic yet beautiful piece complemented by red and white umbrellas. The music itself was already enchanting, the duet was even more. "Wistfully Yours" is really great too, playing around the silk scarf that flows so smoothly in their hands. Of course, not forgetting Linkai's trio with play of shadows! As well as the other dances like Ode to the Peach Blossom, Butterfly Forever etc.

July 31st,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEIMEI! Haha! Hope you have a wonderful time making the frog into a prince and hope you enjoy the triple chocolate cookies and birthday song! :D Thanks for being such a great friend and drama-ist! (: Shall save the words for the next 3 July31sts be it in NY or HC :D

Happy Birthday Elissa!

2008-07-30T00:32:00.001+08:00

Hey Elissa,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You're turning 14 this day! Hope the day and the year ahead brings you much joy, meaningful moments and especially, growth(: Strange as this sounds, we're still toddlers grappling with the ability to walk and talk. Changes are inevitable, but changes bring development and help us reach our fullest potential (: Make lemonade out of lemons before they rot away ! It really just takes a click of the mind :D In any case, the present this year's gonna be very simple, plain even, but it's what you see in it that matters, what you make out of it (: Once again, have a very terrific birthday! :D

Crosscountry

2008-07-29T00:04:00.004+08:00

Crosscountry today was relatively um, strange. Nevertheless, I loved the way the cool breeze slaps your face hard and dumps you back into the panting reality where you gasp for breath under the foliage of trees, more trees, and even more trees. Ran with Yingxiang, Marie (somewhat), Regina (somewhat), Kimberlyn, Joan and Shirlynn! :D Relatively disappointed that they didn't announce the timings of the top runners per level this year, but oh well! Nothing to be done about that! HA and I pray that my luck will be better next year for lucky draw! D: I don't mind getting that woolly shawl ! :D (since it's free anyway :D)

1. The person who last tag you is:
Shirlynn

2. Your relationship with him/her is:
Friends and Exco!

3. Your five impression of him/her:
Exhibitionist (:D), Pink, Very pink, Pink all over, Camwhorer (HAHA)

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
Helping me get a chop on my PREFERE korean icecream card! :D

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you:
Hi cao

6.If he/she become your lover, you will:
Stab her. She's neither Korean nor French D:

7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
Change sexuality! I want to be a Mother D:

8. If he/she become your enemy, you will:
HAHA. I DONT KNOW.

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be:
Blue hates pink!

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:
Get Regina and her together! :D

11. Your overall impression of him/her is:
O.O

12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
Irritated (:

13. The characters you love of yourself are:
I like the C and oh! maybe the Y!

14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are:
Irritating-ness D: Irresponsibility D: Lack of interpersonal skills D: Lack of self-esteem D: Lack of everything lah! except fats D:

15. The most ideal person you want to be is:
Cao Yun (: Everyone has shortcomings and screwed up lives anyway !

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them:
Merci beaucoup (: et SARANGHAE! :D

17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you
Anyone and everyone (:

Keep Dreaming

2008-07-27T14:31:00.001+08:00

Keep dreaming, my child
Let faith and hope build a rainbow across the sky
Make a dozen wishes and whisper
To the guardian stars above
Extend your arms out to above
And scatter your hopes into the sea
They'll travel as boats and reach the wide,
Expanse of your horizon

Joe Hisaishi is truly a master!

I'm Sorry, I Love You

2008-07-27T01:56:00.001+08:00

Let the world pirouette past your gaze,
And the falling of expired leaves amaze,
But keep the flame of life ablaze,
The road ahead's still worth a chase

Love is an unfathomable seed of delight. It's comforting to know that some people are still willing to go to all means for their true love (even if it exists only in dramas). In any case, I'll gladly dump free healthcare service in France for Moohyuk! He's a total angel, protecting Eunchae silently and subtly, undoubtedly thinking about her every moment; keeping all the pain to himself, physically and emotionally, his abandonment, his deranged sister, his disappointment at Eunchae's indifference, his impending doom. If I were in the scene, I'll give everyone a hard kicking (except for poor Moohyuk!) and wake them to their senses! Especially sissy and selfish Yoon (who fortunately grew up after 16 episodes) and ignorant Eunchae! And that good-for-nothing mother who whines over the slightest things! No matter, I love "I'm Sorry, I Love You"! Overarching theme of love with a thick plot and really good actors/actresses (especially Ji Sup!), a definite must-watch! :D

River of Life;

2008-07-25T22:22:00.001+08:00

Chugging down the grains of road,
Trains rushing past with alarming cold,
Clouds in the sky turn an epic low,
As the river of life never ceases to flow

It's been a tough ride for everyone with the influx of block tests and all, so much that it's taken a toll on some's health. To everyone who is getting sick, rest well and drink well! Take the chance to relax and get away from all that stress! We've all put in our utmost (or almost our utmost) for blocks so, no matter what the results are, they're really just superficial prints that are totally not representative of our inner intelligence please. In any case, get well soon!

seeds of love

last post;

busy!

-

joy,

when i am dead

footwork,

=.=

-

stagnating,

-

-

-

-

really random!

watch

-

day one of 2009!

goodbye 2008, hello 2009!

wake me up,

bbq!

fun feed!

A Geek's Confession

wicked wigs

merry christmas

no inspiration

yellow

fbr @pizzahut!

Sul Ponticello

城市百变

violists @vivo! (11dec)

operation change

'tis a long, long journey

Negativity

Camp tribute!

FBR TRIBUTE!

CLEANING UP ! :D

FBR@HC

See you in heaven;

Emotions

BACK!

asdfadfsdf

((: Untitled

Interclass Bball!

Red light

Looking glass

Byebye Mr Helmut ):

Scrabble

APSOIW:LEKF !

A Man's Best Friend

Nobuta wo produce

Termites!

Doubts

Post-EOYS

Stereotypes

Happy Birthday! :D

Your Song

Archives

Seeds of Hope

Up there

Go on, Chug along

Foundation

Home

The SMP Road

Blood-Dub

The End of the World

Last Street Sales!

Eggs!

You can't have everything in life;

Shut

Wisdom Tooth

Gachapon!

Street Sales @ Dhoby Ghaut!

Teachers' Day Celebration 2

Teachers' Day Celebration!

Jogging!

CIP Night @ Orchard

Rising Above

Tongue-Tied

Blood